Title Lettering by Ruta Jamenis

Lost… Forever

Nilesh C
9 min readJul 15, 2017

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“How much further, mom?”

“We are here. Just give me a few minutes. I’ll make us an enclosure under those trees.”, assured Benji’s mother as she walked away.

“I’m tiiii…red!”, complained Benji.

“Benji! I told you. Just a few minutes!”, the mother shouted back.

Benji and his mother had been traveling for over six hours that day. A long, treacherous road journey through the African wilderness. It had been an hour since their lunch and the wild dogs were ready for a much deserved break.

A look to the sky revealed no feathered friends to Benji. Only scavengers. Ominously floating above him. Scoping the surroundings for prey. Benji hated them. He got scary visions of them pulling meat off of carcasses with their pointy beaks.

He turned away from them to face the towering structure that stood before him. A barren hill interspersed with leafless trees and thorny bushes. A steep, rocky incline lead to a plateau followed by another that lead to the summit. Benji examined the hill in the search of life but found none. It was the middle of the day with the sun at its brightest. But there was a darkness on the hill. A feeling of something sinister.

Benji hadn’t realized but he had been staring at the hill for a few minutes now. Drawn to it. His eyes were locked on to the summit. He wondered what he’d see if he stood there. Invisible arms around the waist of the hill seemed to gesture him in. The spell was eventually broken by a familiar voice.

Benji”, his mom barked. “Come on back!”

Benji took a long look at the summit before turning towards his mother. This wasn’t his first trip with his mother. In fact, this was their third trip this month. Traveling had been a norm in their family of two for as long as Benji could remember. For a mother and child living in the wilderness, this was not an exception but a norm. Benji’s father deserted them shortly after his birth. Left to fend for herself and a child, Benji’s mother had little choice but to move homes periodically. Living in the wild amongst creatures of all kinds, safety was a concern of the daily and one couldn’t risk being spotted by predators. Despite the harsh life, Benji’s mother had been very doting. She had been caring to surround him with a group of nomadic dog families like theirs so as to give Benji the feeling of a home.

But today, they were on their own. So she wasn’t her usual calm self. And Benji knew that well. He knew when to push her to his will and more importantly when not to. Particularly, this time of the day. Her afternoon nap was sacred and not to be messed with. However, this was his least favorite activity of the day. He would much rather stay awake and play with his friends. Freely. Without adult supervision. He didn’t have any leverage today since there weren’t any friends to begin with. So he dragged his feet to bed.

Laying in bed, snuggled with his mother, Benji felt restless. He could see the summit at a distance, beckoning. He tossed and turned, much to the annoyance of his tired mother.

“Sleep, now!”, she scolded.

“I’m not sleepy!”, he whined.

“Close your eyes. You’ll feel sleepy.”

“I tried, mom. I can’t!”

A sense of déjà vu took over Benji’s mother as she sighed.

“Mom”, Benji turned to face his mother.

“Yes?”, her eyes remained shut.

“Why don’t you sleep while I go for a hike on that hill?”

The mother’s eyes shot wide open.

“Have you gone mad?”, she glared at Benji.

“We are in an unfamiliar place.”, she said. “It’s blazing hot outside. Who knows what’s atop that hill! There may be creatures that could harm you. And you want to go all by yourself? No way!”

“But mom I won’t go far. ”

“Benji! I’m telling you one more time. You are not going. Do you know what will happen if you go there?”

“What?”

“You…”, she paused. “You..you will be lost…forever. And then no mom, no friends, no anything.”

Benji lay quietly in bed, pondering over what his mom had said. A little fear had crept inside his bravado. He certainly didn’t want to get lost. He had been lost in the past and he knew how scary that was. But right now that seemed like ancient history. Sure, once in a while he did get lost but it wasn’t long till his mother found him. There was no chance that he would be lost forever. “What did that even mean?”, he wondered.

“Mom?”, he turned to his mother.

“Hmm?”, his mother responded in her slumber.

“How does it feel to be lost forever?”

“Benji, I…”, she said before falling into a deep sleep.

Forty minutes later, Benji was parched and out of breath. His ankles ached and was sweating profusely. As he leaned against a boulder and plopped to the floor in exhaustion, he finally had a moment to admire the view from the summit. The vast expanse. To his right, he could see the winding road that he and his mother had taken earlier that day to get to the bottom of the hill. To the left, he saw a herd of buffaloes at the shore of a lake quenching their thirst.

The climb had been more punishing than what it had seemed to Benji at the onset. He had virtually ran across the steep, rocky terrain. He had been watchful for predators but saw none. He often felt like he was being watched. But by whom? Who but him would be foolhardy enough to venture out on this barren hill to roast? The eagles hovered along with him all the while. Perhaps knowing something he didn’t.

As he soaked in the view, his eyes navigated to their settlement. It was hard to decipher from this height if his mother was up or not. Either ways he didn’t have too long. He still had the hope to sneak back into bed as if he had been there all along. The summit housed nothing more than a giant boulder. All he wanted now was to get a look on what lay on the other side of the hill.

The trip down should be faster than the trip up”, he thought to himself. “I’ll take a quick peek from the other side and run back.

With that, he got up and started jogging around the boulder, surveying the plains below him. He had hardly crossed over to the other side when his eyes locked with the creature. He let out a shriek as his feet staggered back. He almost fell over in shock. The creature seemed just as shocked and let out a loud wail.

This is what Benji’s mother had warned him about. Predators. And now he was face to face with one. Terrified and vulnerable, he instantly regretted having ventured out at all. As he gathered his wits, the creature examined him from a distance. Not yet advancing towards him. As he was sure to do.

If Benji had to do something the time was now. But he stood there transfixed, examining the creature. It was like no other Benji had ever seen. Black fur on his head but nowhere else. Coats of multiple colors covered parts of his body. Walking on two feet, he had fingers on two paws and hooves on the other two. He seemed predatory but was he really? It had been a few minutes but he hadn’t let out a growl. He seemed more watchful than attacking. Benji’s instincts betrayed his training.

Do not second guess the instincts of an animal, Benji.”, his mother’s voice loomed in his head. “If you’re ever face to face with an unknown animal, you have only but two options — Fight or flight.

Benji charged slowly towards the creature letting out the loudest barks that he could summon on his parched throat. The creature let out a louder wail and fell backwards, crouching. Benji walked towards him summoning all the menace he could in his eyes. The creature continued to retreat in fear. It sat on the ground with it’s paws raised in submission. Benji halted his aggression. This was no predator. Or at the very least, no predator of Benji.

Maybe it’s lost. I should help it. Or should I just head back?”, Benji stood there contemplating. The creature continued to sit on the floor with its paws covering his face.

Hey. Who are you? Are you lost?”, Benji walked towards the creature. The creature lowered his paws to look at Benji. “I can help you get back to your family.

As the African sun started to head west, the sky had turned to a bright orange. The silence of the hill was momentarily broken by a deafening blast. The eagles started lowering around the summit.

Neal’s mother was worried sick. A couple of hours back her eyes had opened to a door ajar. As she turned around to the other side of the bed, she found creases where her eight year old son should have been. The National Park Guard was alerted. Now, the hotel staff watched her from a distance as she paced worriedly in the lobby.

“I hope he’s fine”, she muttered to herself.

“When does the sun set?”, she called out to a waiter.

“Around six-thirty, madam”, he replied.

She continued to look at him as if to ask more questions.

“Don’t worry, madam. We are looking for him everywhere. We’ll find him soon. Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, I’m fine”, she started pacing again.

On any other day she would be enjoying a hot cup of tea at this time but that was the last thing on her mind. It had been an hour since the National Park guard had ventured to the hill behind the hotel. She looked at her cellphone once again. Full battery. No network.

What is the point of these bloody things!”, she muttered to herself. “All this technology but it never works when you need it the most!”. She plopped down on a chair.

She could hardly take it anymore. She sat there defeated. Her head was bursting in pain. She closed her eyes and pinched her temples between her fingers. A visual of Neal came to her. Running around in their neighborhood. Laughing mischievously in the evening sun. She had held back tears all this while but her eyes were now welling up.

What if he’s….”, she stopped herself from completing the thought. “What kind of a mother am I? Couldn’t take care of my child”. Tears dripped out of her eyes as she sat there with no one to comfort her. She felt like she was drifting off into a river filled with black water, floating away from the light into pitch black, hope and joy sucking away from her body slowly.

Madam!”, someone yelled out as she jolted out of her thoughts. “He’s here!”

She leapt out of her chair and turned to look at the waiter watching her. “Your son is here”, he said pointing towards the hotel entrance. She jogged towards the entrance. As she approached the door, the National Park guard with a rifle on one shoulder walked in holding Neal’s hand.

The mother and son ran towards each other only to stop in a tight embrace.

“Thank God!”, she said loudly as she embraced her son.

“Are you okay?”, she said as she examined her son from top to bottom.

“Ya, I’m fine”, he replied softly.

She gave him a tight hug and a peck on the cheek.

“I told you not to go to the hill!”, she held him by his arms. Neal looked back with guilt.

“Please take him to the restaurant.”, she turned to the waiter. “Get him some warm milk.”

As they walked away, she turned to address the Guard.

“Where did you find him?”

“He was on top, Madam.”, the guard said as he pointed towards the hill. “All by himself.”

“Oh my…”

“I got there just in time. He would have been mauled.”

“Mauled! Mauled by what?”, she shot back alarmed.

“A wild dog, madam!”, he said. “I saw them from a distance. A small, wild dog was approaching him.”

Neal’s mother stood there in horror.

“He was barking at him and he had an aggressive stance. Had I not gotten there on time, it would have been too late.”

“I can’t even begin to thank you. I’m so sorry for…”

“I had no option.”, he interrupted. “I had to shoot the dog.”

“Oh…That’s…that’s very unfortunate.”

“Yes, it really is. Anyway, I’ll take your leave, madam. I’ll have to file a report for this incident.”

On the other side of the hotel, the patio restaurant filled up with chatter. Guests of all ages poured in to enjoy the restaurant’s great fare. Hot coffee, sponge cake, french fries, fresh fruit adorned the tables. Young couples and groups of friends enjoyed the sight of the sun setting over the hill. Kids chased each other around the restaurant, much to the annoyance of the older guests.

Neal watched as his friends played Cops and Robbers. They gestured him in a few times only to get back a blank stare. A glass of milk lay untouched before him. He sat there, lost in thought. The chatter of the restaurant was briefly interrupted by loud howls that emanated from the summit. Neal jolted out of his thoughts and rushed to the ledge facing the hill. As he stood there, tears rolled down his cheeks.

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Nilesh C

I code to feed the belly and write to feed the soul. Been in a hiatus for a while. Slowly but surely gripping my pen.